You are currently browsing the daily archive for July 2nd, 2008.
An elder from tribal area told me a piece of wisdom I can’t ignore. He said in past the tribesman would create trouble in tribal areas and get money and weapons from Afghanistan; and now; hahaha, Government and Army generals have learned the trick, they create trouble in tribal area and get money and weapons from USA.
I had never taken kidneys seriously and lived a normal happy healthy life. In 1982 while a university student in USA I felt pain on my left side and noted blood in my urine. An x-ray revealed a stone in the ureter. I was admitted to hospital and taken to operation room with surgery in mind but the doctor said he will try to do it using endoscopy. Luckly the stone was successfully removed by endoscopy.
Then in 1990 while I was an Assistant Commissioner in Fort Abbas , I had severe pain in my right side. Ultra_sound revealed a kidney stone on move in right ureter. I was wondering about surgery where to go for treatment from Fort Abbas , when my officer a Naib Tehsildar came to my office and brought me a bottle of Berberris Kidney Drops, a homeopathic medicine. He told me to take ten drops with water. I said I wont try strange things but on his insistance I did try. Surprisingly after an hour I noted that the pain was gone. I used it for several days and seemed that there was no more pain. I was transferred to Kotli Sattian , a newly created sub-division of Rawalpindi district. Soon again I had severe pain on my right side and even the homeopathic medicine did not work. I visited doctor at Kidney Center Rawalpindi. The doctor took a special x-ray and on examining it told me that the right ureter is blocked with stone subsequent to which the kidney has stopped working which may start working again once we open the ureter by removing the stone. I was admitted and the stone was successfully removed by surgery. However, the doctor noted with concern after the surgery that the Blood Pressure was not dropping down and I should check it. But I left the hospital to forget it all.
In 1994 I was visiting Australia and before that had to undergo medical tests at Islamabad and Rawalpindi. The report of urine test showed Albumin in the urine. The doctor told me that at the time I looked perfectly okay but I should consult expert on the urine Albumin. After return from Australia I tested my urine now and then, and found the Albumin present intermittently. The doctors at Civil Hospital had my urine and Blood samples tested thoroughly and consulted Lady Reading Hospital but could not trace causes. I was advised that I seemed doing well and there were no physical symptom so probably my threshold levels were changed . So I lost concern.
But I kept checking Urine and Blood Pressure now and then and intermittently noted Albumin in urine and raised Blood Pressure.
In year 1998 I was Deputy Commissioner Battgram. I noted that I had difficulty controlling nerves and I started medication Tenormin 50mg for Blood Pressure, but did not check regularly what’s happening to Blood Pressure. Two three years later I started half lexatonil in morning for relaxation and one at night for sleeping. Soon I was addicted to these medicines and my sleeping pattern deteriorated as before.
In 2006 I was Secretary Science and Technology NWFP. I had lost enthusiasm I had for office work and preffered to go home and rest. I even had a feeling that I was ill but body temperature was normal. I looked perfectly healthy and could go for long walks. I had nauseau , some pain in the sides and I wondered about the kidneys, but urine tests had shown no crystals or blood (I was looking for stones, Kidney failure I could not imagine ). I did not visit doctor. I had not heard of Nephrology till then and only thought of urologist concerning kidney. A week or two later I became normal again. But I had a feeling that something was wrong with me as I was not my old self. I wondered about liver, heart and stomach. I also thought the possibility it was alot of job tension and I needed to get away.
In May,2007 I got a week long leave for having a vacation for rest. I planned a visit to Swat and Kalam alone. but on last day I cancelled it and got an appontment at Shifa International Hospital Islamabad for a complete Physical checkup. On May 4, 2007 I appeared at hospital for the checkup . On May 8, 2007 I visited the consultant for the reports, and the doctor went throught my reports telling me that things mostly seemed normal, except that he stopped curoius at one point and told me that my creatinine level was about 9 at which normally people are placed on dialysis and it seemed that both my kidneys are no more working properly. He advised further tests and said he may refer me to nephrolgist. I went to lab for further tests of potassium etc., and for an ultrasound of kidneys. I took the reports and went to a nephrologist in the same hospital. The nephrologist examined me told me that it seemed that both my kidneys are permanently damaged and dialysis and transplant are the options. I was stunned. I told the doctor that I can’t stay at Rawalpindi, that he should refer me to someone at Peshawar. He refered to a nephrologist at Peshawar.
Just a while ago I posted my video in ICU made a few days after kidney transplant. Video has lost clarity but gives an image of how ICU and patient look like.
Today my daughter developed symptoms of Chicken Pox and I panicked about my preventive measures being immuno-suppressed due to Kidney Transplant. I have sent my wife and daughters to village for a while, from where my daughter caught the disease. I will be going to hospital for routine monthly checking day after tomorrow.
For the last few days I felt infuriated at the thought that almost none at job and family are considerate of me as a patient. I get the same tough treatment of life just like everyone else .
One more realization…. I don’t care for many things anymore too…like religion, spiritual life, literature, patriotism …. yes this last one has particularly surprised me as now I often wonder what a tragedy it was to be born in this “miserable” country. haha… I sometimes think may be this is the side effect of the transplant medicines.
How much have I read on self improvement, what a long struggle….and no difference. all that life long struggle was in vain. Breathing control, meditations, books, schedule, actually I did not continue with any because nothing made immediate difference…and I have a habit of changing from this to that.
Now when I recall events in past, I am amazed how wrong,bad,wicked,selfish or silly I was in most of situations and how I got away as good guy, There are so many regrets. Almost always people were better than me, respected me, took care of me, and I took it for granted.
I was just looking at projects on www.instructables.com and it occured to me how much pleased I would have been with internet when I was a kid (ofcourse there was no net then). How much lonely was I in my hobbies and desire to build and make something.
